


Jack's War

by PennineLass



Series: Jack Alone [1]
Category: Chalet School - Elinor M. Brent-Dyer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-02-23 12:30:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23511544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PennineLass/pseuds/PennineLass
Summary: What might have happened had things not gone to plan on the trek from Austria....
Series: Jack Alone [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691770
Kudos: 4





	1. June 1938

Jack Maynard looked in horror at the bleeding and battered body of his fiancée. What had she done to deserve this kind of end to her life? Kneeling beside her, he felt for a pulse and was surprised to find a very faint one in her neck. He automatically went through the motions of checking her airway and looking over her body for injuries. There were two gunshot wounds, but, they had pierced her stomach. Things didn’t look good and Jack had no way of stemming the flow of blood. He knew that she didn’t have much longer left to live. 

“Jo? Jo? Can you hear me?” Her eyelids flickered and opened a little, her mouth attempting to form words. “Shhh, don’t try to speak, darling. I’m here. I’m not going to leave you. I promise I’ll never leave you.” He held tightly onto her hand as he gently eased her body onto his knee. Her groan as he did so, made him aware that she was in immense pain. “I’m sorry, Jo. There’s nothing I can do for the pain. Just hold onto me.” He felt her weakly clasp his hand and he stroked her matted hair gently away from her face with his free one.

“I love you, Joey. I wish I’d been with you when those bastards did this to you. I might have been able to help you more.” Jack continued to stroke her hair and hold onto her, hoping that his presence was comforting to her. He could hear her breathing becoming more laboured and knew the end was near. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to stop the tears from falling. A slight croak made him open them again quickly and he looked down at Jo in his arms.

“I love you, Jack. Don’t ever think that I didn’t.” Jo paused, breathing with difficulty, now. “Go on and get to safety. Promise you’ll live life for both of us.” Her eyes closed once more. 

“I will Jo, I promise. I’ll never forget you. Ever!” This time, he couldn’t prevent the tears falling as he heard Jo breathe out her last and her body relax as she left him forever.

*****

Jack had no idea of how long he had been sitting by the roadside, holding Jo’s lifeless body. With her death, it was as if someone had taken away his future and he no longer cared what happened to him. How was he supposed to continue life without Jo? How could he be expected to carry on? What was he going to do now? He continued to hold onto Jo, not noticing evening creeping on and the cold becoming more intense.

The night was clear and there was a full moon, throwing distinct shadows across the road where Jack was sitting. He never heard the footsteps approaching him, nor did he notice when someone bent down beside him and gently removed Jo’s body from his arms. Another pair of hands quietly assisted him to his feet and escorted him to a small cottage on the edge of the village. He was put to bed in a smoky room and left alone to sleep. Curling into a ball, Jack shivered and stared unseeingly out of the window near his head.

He stayed in the same position all night, not moving in the silence surrounding him. All he could think about was that Jo was gone and he had no idea what he was going to do now. He knew the others would have continued on without him. He also didn’t know where he was or who had taken him into their home. He was completely and utterly lost. As he watched the sun rise over the building next door, footsteps approached once more and a kindly voice spoke to him in German.

“Come, mein Herr, you must eat and drink or you will be ill yourself.” He turned to the voice and saw an elderly lady standing by him. She was buxom and her face worn, with greying hair fastened up in a coronal of plaits. She smiled and continued quietly. “Your friend is in the church, with the priest in attendance. We will ensure she has a proper burial. It is the least we can do after what happened.”

“It is most kind of you. I don’t know how to thank you all.”

“We need no thanks. We have no love of those pigs who killed your friend. She didn’t deserve to die in such a callous way. If we had been able, we would have come to her aid before you reached her.”

“Did you see what happened?”

“My husband did. I’ll leave you to rise and then come and join us in the kitchen.” The woman left Jack alone once more and he was intrigued enough to climb out of bed and follow her downstairs, once he’d cleaned himself up with the water she’d left on the dresser.

When he reached the kitchen, Jack saw an old man sitting at the table eating rolls and drinking coffee. The woman placed a mug at the opposite side of the table and indicated he should sit down before she passed him a plate of rolls and butter. Jack began to eat, not wanting to offend the couple who had taken him in without question. When his plate was empty, his mug was refilled and finally the old man opposite him broke the silence.

“She had no chance. They came up from behind and just shot at her. She wouldn’t have had time to move, never mind hide. They were playing a game and she was the target. The first shot hit her from further back than the second. It wasn’t enough to kill her outright, but she collapsed on the ground. As she tried to gain her feet, the second shot hit her. She didn’t attempt to rise after that. They stopped and beat her then for spoiling their game. After that, they rode on towards the village. I was too far away from her to go to her aid and they were heading towards me. All I could do was hide in the woodshed as they passed and hope they continued on through without stopping. They didn’t. They had decided that they needed to celebrate and stopped at each house in the village, insisting that they be given something to drink. You can see the road from almost every house, so we would have been unable to reach her without great risk to ourselves. When you arrived on the scene, it was dusk and they were too drunk by then to notice you. It wasn’t until nightfall that they finally left us and continued on their way. That’s when we felt it safe enough to come and help you.”

“Thank you. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’re doing.”

“It is nothing. We couldn’t leave you by the side of the road and the young lady deserves a proper burial. Elsa will show you to the church and introduce you to the priest, shortly. Might we know your name?”

“My name is John Maynard.”

“I am Karl Bauer and this is my wife Elsa. What brought you to this small part of Tyrol?”

“It’s a long story. I’m a doctor, and came out to Austria to work in a Sanatorium up above the Tiernsee about six years ago. Unfortunately, we fell foul of the Nazis a few months ago and, after a group of girls from the local school became involved in an altercation in Spärtz, a few of us have had to flee for our own safety. We were heading for the border with Switzerland when the group splintered up to be less noticeable as we passed through the villages around here. Somehow, Jo had become separated from everyone else and I came back to look for her.” Jack stopped here, remembering what he had found on the roadside. He breathed in deeply, and closed his eyes for a brief moment. Another mug of coffee was silently placed in front of him. He picked it up and swallowed the bitter liquid.

“So you are alone and you have no idea where the others are?” Herr Bauer asked

“That’s right. We planned to meet up again once we reached the forest, but, I don’t think they’ll wait for long. It’s not safe to do so. Some of our group are only schoolgirls, the youngest of whom is only fourteen. They need to reach safety.”

“How will they get across the border?”

“One of my colleagues is Tyrolean and knows the area well. He is with the group and knows of a border route.”

“That is good. I hope they make it across safely. The border guards are not averse to shooting anyone they see on sight.”

“Unfortunately, neither are the Nazis.”

“Yes, that is also true. My wife will take you to the church, now. The priest will need to know details for the registers.” Herr Bauer rose and Jack rose with him. “You may stay here until after the burial, but then, I’m afraid you’ll have to move on as they will be back. This is a small village and a stranger will be noticeable.”

“Thank you. It’s most kind of you.” Herr Bauer just nodded and left the cottage to go and check his animals. 

“Come, Herr Doktor, I will take you to the church.” Frau Bauer gestured for Jack to follow her and she led him across the village to the tiny church where Jo’s body had been laid out before the altar. Jack was greeted by the priest and was told that burial would happen the next morning. He left Jack alone with Jo and retreated to the entrance of the church to speak to Frau Bauer.

Standing there, in front of the altar and Jo’s lifeless body, Jack was unable to stop the tears from falling. He noticed that she had been washed and her eyes were closed as if she was sleeping. The large bloodstain on her dress was the only sign that she was no longer with them. Jack knelt down beside her and silently prayed for the others to reach safety and for Jo’s family, who had no idea that she would never return to them. He’d promised to protect Jo and keep her from harm and he’d failed. He looked down at Jo’s left hand and saw the ring he’d given her just a few short weeks ago. He’d been so proud when she’d agreed to become his wife. He’d waited so long for her, and now it was never going to happen. Her life had been cut short before she’d even reached her majority. Removing the ring from her finger, Jack slipped it into his pocket. It was one memory of happiness with her and, along with the Belsornian pearls he removed from around her neck, the only things he could take with him.

The priest returned to Jack a short time later and gently asked for the details he needed. Jack gave them listlessly; it made it all so final. He would be moving on the next day without Jo and with no idea of what he would do next or what route the others had taken.

*****

Jo was buried early the next morning in a secluded corner of the churchyard, where few people passed by. The only people present were Jack and the priest, the other villagers staying away for fear of reprisals. After the short service, a couple of the local farmers came and filled in the grave before bowing their heads in respect and leaving Jack alone once more. He stayed in the shade of the nearby tree for a long time. He was unsure what to do with himself now. He was no longer welcome in this village, though he knew it wasn’t because the villagers distrusted him. He was a fugitive and wanted by the Nazi authorities. His papers weren’t in order and he had no passport on him. He wondered where he could go and what he should do next.

He made his way back to the cottage first and thanked Herr and Frau Bauer for their hospitality. They gave him some food for his journey and wished him well, before waving him off. He headed towards the Swiss border first, hoping against hope that the others might have waited for him. After three days of aimless walking, he came within sight of the border, but had seen no sign of the group. Jack realised that he was now stuck here. There was no way he could leave. 

He turned his footsteps back into Austria and headed for the nearest large town. He had no idea what he was going to do when he reached there. He had little money and he had no job. He knew it would be dangerous for him to return to Innsbruck, since people knew him there and he could no longer trust anyone. He knew he had to find some sort of work, but what could he do? The question preyed on his mind as he walked. He wondered if he could use his skills as a doctor at all, but was certain that no one would want to work with an Englishman, never mind the fact that he didn’t have the correct papers. As he entered the outskirts of Landeck, he saw Nazi flags billowing in the wind from windows. He shivered as he realised he now needed to survive in a country which was part of the German Reich and where he was a wanted man. He needed to avoid detection if he possibly could. He continued on towards the centre of town, hoping to spot somewhere to stay.


	2. November 1938

Jack lifted his head and looked at the train as it passed by the platform. It was the express to Paris and, not for the first time, he wished he was on board and heading for safety in England. He had been working as a porter for a number of months now, having managed to drop lucky when he arrived in Landeck. Just as he’d been walking past the station, a man had been unceremoniously thrown out and Jack had overheard him being told to go and find himself another job. He had waited nearby for half an hour, then gone and enquired if there were any jobs available, explaining he was new in town and in need of work. He had been hired on the spot, no questions asked. 

He’d managed to find himself a room in a boarding house a few streets further down and begun his new job that evening. It was hard work and he now had an appreciation of how lucky he’d been in his life so far. He was expected to move people’s possessions between platforms and out to the station yard to waiting cars as well as keep the platforms tidy between trains. Jack had kept the beard which had grown during his failed escape over the border, hoping it disguised his features enough to stop anyone he may know from recognising him. He’d also altered his name slightly, so it wasn’t obvious what his nationality was. By doing this, he hoped to evade the detection of the Nazis and stay safe.

He was busy sweeping up discarded cigarette ends when the train thundered through. He watched the windows and recognised a face he knew well sitting in one of the carriages. He quickly looked down again. He didn’t want to be seen or recognised by anyone, knowing what had happened to Jo such a short time ago. Tears sprang to his eyes and he wiped them impatiently away. He couldn’t deal with those thoughts now. He needed to earn enough money to be able to move on quickly and if he was caught time wasting, he knew he’d be out of a job before he had anything saved. He turned away and continued his rhythmic sweeping, starting at the back of the platform by the building and sweeping slowly forwards towards the edge and the tracks. 

When he’d finished his shift, Jack went back to the boarding house. He ate was put before him in silence, thanked the landlady and departed up to his room, where he washed and lay down on the bed. Shoving his hands in his pockets as he stared up at the ceiling, he felt the jewellery he’d removed from Jo before she’d been buried. He hauled himself into a sitting position and placed the necklace and ring gently onto the bed before him. Looking carefully around the room, he wondered if there was anywhere he could hide them for safe-keeping, since he didn’t want them to be taken. They were more than just jewellery to him. They were his only link with Jo. He had no other, now, not even a photograph. He wiped his hand across his eyes and stared down at the emerald, his thoughts in another time.

A knock came at the door and Jack hastily scooped the necklace and ring up, dropping them back into his pocket. It was one of the other men who lived in the boarding house.

“Coming out for a drink tonight, Mayner?”

“No, thanks. It’s been a long day. I’m going to have an early night, I think.” He wasn’t a big drinker, and he knew that he didn’t want to risk giving himself away through too much alcohol. 

“Another night, then.”

“Yes, maybe.” Jack shut the door before the man could ask any further questions. He returned to the bed and lay down on it, staring up at the ceiling, silently praying for a way to get himself out of this nightmare.

It was late when Jack was woken by noises in the street below. He climbed out of bed and peeped through his curtains. What he saw was a sight which shocked him. The local shop had its windows smashed through and the owner and his wife and children had been dragged out onto the street, where they were being forced to clear up the glass. As Jack watched on, he saw the crowd thickening around the family. He could hear the taunts and see that items were being flung at the family as they crawled around on the ground, picking up the shards with their bare hands. That they were too scared to do anything other than obey the baying of the mob was obvious to Jack. He was desperate to go and help them, but, he held himself back. If he did that, then he was liable to be beaten and sent to one the labour camps, about which he had heard. He knew that he wouldn’t get any help this time around and that he would more than likely end up dead.

He watched on until he recalled himself to his senses and the crowd outside the shop had begun to thin out. Lying back down, he attempted to sleep again, but found it impossible. The events he had just witnessed were too vivid. In frustration, he rose and dressed, intending to go for a walk as the dawn was approaching rapidly now. He was stopped on the landing by the gentleman who had asked him for a drink the previous night.

“Don’t go out, yet. There are too many people about and you may be questioned.”

“I was just going to go for a walk. I don’t intend to stop.”

“It isn’t safe, yet. They will be checking papers and identification. They want scapegoats and you may become one.”

“In that case, I shall see if breakfast is ready.” He nodded his thanks and turned back to his room to leave his coat.

When he went to work at the station later that morning, Jack had to pass the shop. He saw it had been vandalised inside as well having had the windows smashed. There was still glass everywhere, though there was no sign of the family now. He walked quickly onwards, not wishing to be associated with the crowd which were still watching and hoping for more to happen.

Once at the station, he went into the store room to collect his brush and to look for a container for the jewellery in his pocket. He found a small metal tin in the corner of a cupboard. Checking that it was empty, he slipped it into his pocket. He now had somewhere to keep the jewellery and he knew where he could hide the tin with little risk of discovery. He wanted to be able to return the necklace to Jo’s family if he could, though he knew it would be hard for him to do so.

Christmas passed without ceremony. Jack worked hard, living each day as it came and trying not to think about how he had ended up in this situation. He spent little of the money he earned, only ensuring that he had enough clothes to keep him decent. He might need the money to get him to safety quickly. He had no wish to be taken by the Nazis again. He knew he wouldn’t be released this time. So far, he had managed to avoid being questioned by the local Nazi officers, but, he knew that one day, they would question why he wasn’t helping the need of the Greater Reich. Then he knew he would need to disappear.


	3. March 1940

Jack had been working at the station for well over a year, now. He had been lucky so far, and not been questioned about who he was and why he was there. War had been declared and he knew that he had to be extra careful about his identity. His job was hard work and he had very little free time, thanks to the other porters going to fight. He was the only other person there apart from the owner and a man who was too old to join up. Jack’s doctor instinct had already seen that the old man was suffering and in pain, but he could do very little to help. He tried to ease the way as much as possible, taking on as much as he could without anyone becoming suspicious. 

One day, Jack arrived to start his shift and found the old man collapsed in the store room. He quickly crossed the room and knelt down beside him.

“Schmitt? Can you hear me?” Jack automatically felt for a pulse and was rewarded by finding a faint one. He began to try and revive the other man and finally heard a gasp as he came to. Jack made him more comfortable and placed an old blanket over him to keep him warm.

“How do you feel?” Jack asked.

“Mayner? How did you get here? What’s happened?”

“I found you collapsed on the floor. You were barely breathing. I don’t think you should move for a short while and you really should get checked over properly. I don’t have anything with me to do it myself, unfortunately.” 

“What do you mean?” Too late, Jack realised he had given his secret away. He looked at Schmitt and wondered how much he could say. Was this old man to be trusted, or would he immediately alert the authorities? Jack decided to stick with the truth.

“I’m actually a doctor. I used to work in a Sanatorium until shortly after the Anschluss.”

“Why are you working as a porter and not as a doctor?”

“I needed work and this was all I could find at the time.” Jack didn’t want to reveal anything more of his true identity, yet. He knew he had to be careful with how much information he gave away. Luckily, he heard the toot of a train as it approached the station. 

“I need to go and meet the train. Stay where you are and rest, Schmitt. I’ll give you a hand once I’ve finished.” Jack stood up and departed quickly. He knew he needed to keep this job for a while longer if possible. Although he had saved the majority of his earnings each week, he wanted to have as much money as possible if he needed to flee again. The little tin he had found for Jo’s jewellery was now full of notes as well. 

When he had finished helping the two people who had descended the train and graciously accepted their meagre tip, he returned to his colleague in the store room. Schmitt was still in the same position and smiled as Jack re-appeared. 

“I think you have some explaining to do, Herr Mayner. I have no love of what has happened to my country and I suspect that you are in agreement with me.”

“That may be true, but first, you need to be seen by a doctor who has the correct papers and equipment, something I currently don’t have. I’d also appreciate it if what I’ve said goes no further.” Jack helped Schmitt to his feet and out to the platform, where they stopped at a bench for a few minutes before continuing on towards the entrance. Once there, Jack left Schmitt to make his way along to the doctor who lived a few doors down and returned to his job. He had no more time to think about what was happening with Schmitt and what he was going to say to him when they next met.

Schmitt returned to work a couple of weeks later. Jack was busy when he appeared on the platform and didn’t notice him immediately. It wasn’t until he’d finished dealing with the disembarking passengers and the train had left in a cloud of steam that he noticed the older man standing beside him. 

“Schmitt! I didn’t expect to see you back, yet. How are you?”

“Much better, thank you. Thank you for all your help. If it hadn’t been for you, I probably wouldn’t be here now. I’m indebted to you for finding me in time.”

“It was nothing. I couldn’t leave you there without trying to help.”

“I know. I also know that you took a risk in doing so. Come for a drink at my house this evening. I believe I may be able to help you.” Schmitt held out his hand and Jack shook it, receiving the card with an address on it at the same time. This was slipped into his pocket without a glance, Jack having seen the station owner approaching. He picked up his brush and moved off to the other end of the platform to begin his rhythmic sweeping. Schmitt turned to speak to their boss and explain his absence over the past week. 

That evening, Jack left the boarding house and walked across town to the address on the card he had been given earlier. He knocked on the door and was admitted to a smoky room. Here he found Schmitt smoking a pipe, a glass in front of him. His wife offered Jack a seat and placed a second glass on the table before going out into the cold night. Jack sniffed the contents and sipped it carefully. He was still unsure how much he could trust his host.

“My wife has gone to feed the chickens. She will be back later. Tell me, Mayner, why are you working as a porter if you’re actually a doctor?”

“As I said before, I needed work and being a porter was the only job available.”

“My granddaughter used to go to a school which was connected with a Sanatorium. I wonder if it was the same one?”

“It’s possible. There aren’t that many Sanatoria in Tyrol.”

“Greta loved the Chalet School and was devastated when the Nazis forced her to leave and attend a German school. I too was upset when I heard that it had to close. The school had given her good ideals which I think are necessary in this war. I have no love of the current regime and wish that Hitler had left my land alone.” Jack had downed the contents of his glass when Schmitt mentioned the Chalet School. He was desperately trying to remember if he’d ever met a Greta Schmitt on his visits to the school. His glass was replenished without him noticing.

“How old is Greta?”

“She’s just thirteen. She had been there for a year before she was forced to leave. There is a photograph of her on the mantelpiece.” Jack rose and walked to the fire. He saw a number of photographs in frames placed on the shelf above. “She’s in the one on the left with her little sister. Marta was to join Greta there this year.” Jack picked up the frame and looked closely at the two girls smiling back at him. The elder had long fair pigtails and looked vaguely familiar. He had treated a number of juniors for a rash which had turned out to be from running through nettles. He seemed to remember a Greta being amongst them.

“Did Greta ever mention a nettle rash?”

“Yes, she told me about it when she came home for the holidays. She had been running through what she thought were shrubs in a shaded corner of the school grounds. It was only when she and her friends couldn’t stop scratching their legs that they realised what the shrubs actually were. Greta told me that a lovely doctor came to look at their rash and give them some cream.”

“I was that doctor.” Jack spoke softly. He replaced the photograph and returned to his chair where he looked at the older man. “I was the one who treated your granddaughter.”

“Why are you still here in Austria? I thought everyone who was associated with the school and the Sanatorium had left.”

“I was unlucky, though not as unlucky as my fiancée, who is now buried in an unmarked grave in a small village not far from here.”

“I’m sorry.” Jack’s glass was refilled a third time. “What happened?”

“She was shot as we were trying to escape. There had been an incident in Spärtz and a handful of us needed to leave before the authorities could catch us. As far as I know, the rest of the group made it over safely. I was left behind when I went back for Jo. Now, I have no way of getting home until this war ends.”

“Hence why you’re now working at Landeck station.”

“Yes. I needed money and I happened to be passing as my predecessor was thrown out on his ear.”

“It’s a very conspicuous place. You’re taking a big risk working there when you’re virtually under the nose of the Nazis.”

“Yes. I’ve been lucky so far, but, I know I may have to disappear at a moment’s notice.”

“I may be able to help there. I know the local area well and will help you if it should become necessary.”

“Thank you.”

“If you find you need to depart, leave the brush you use the other way up in the store room and go to the barn out at Huber’s farm. I will come to you there. I can’t guarantee to get you across the border, but I know people who are willing to help you.”

“I’ll remember that. I should go home. It’s getting late and I don’t want to be stopped on my way back.”

“Yes, go. Be safe, Mayner. I will see you at work tomorrow.” Jack nodded and slipped out of the door, closing it softly behind him. He walked swiftly back to the boarding house and let himself in, silently mounting the stairs to his room. Once he reached it, he undressed and climbed into bed. He lay in the darkness thinking over the conversation. He had discovered an ally who was willing to help him should it become necessary. Jack closed his eyes and prayed he would make it out of Austria alive.


	4. June 1942

Jack continued working at the station for the next two years. He kept himself to himself and never spoke to Schmitt about that evening. The two men were busy with their jobs and, in Jack’s case, avoiding detection.

The day Jack had been dreading would happen finally arrived. He was busy helping an elderly couple with their bags, when someone stopped him.

“I recognise you. You’re one of the doctors who worked at the Sonnalpe Sanatorium. You treated my son.”

“I think you must have the wrong person.” Jack attempted to continue on, but the gentleman placed his hand on Jack’s arm.

“No, I don’t think so. You’re Dr Maynard.”

“That isn’t my name, I assure you, sir. If you’ll please excuse me, I need to take these bags out to the platform before the train pulls in.” The gentleman dropped his arm, but looked keenly at Jack as he continued along to the platform.

Once the train was puffing slowly out of the station, Jack went to retrieve his brush from the storeroom. He knew he would leave it the wrong way up when he returned it later. The gentleman was nowhere to be seen, but Jack didn’t trust him not to return with someone else who would recognise him. He methodically swept the platforms and helped with luggage when trains arrived or departed until five minutes before the end of his shift, when he returned to the storeroom.

Once inside, he closed the door carefully and placed his brush against the wall, the bristles in the air. He then moved over to the cupboard in the corner and knelt down before the doors. Opening the left one, he lifted the bottom shelf cautiously and peered into the void. The tin was hidden in a corner and he felt around until his hand came into contact with the smooth metal. He lifted it out and replaced the shelf, making sure that the items were replaced as they should be. He rose, slipping the tin into his pocket before walking to the door. He paused and brushed his trousers down with his hands, then opened the door and walked out of the station. 

Jack walked swiftly to the boarding house and ate the meal his landlady had cooked. He thanked her and went up to his room. He had to prepare for departure once more. This time he was on his own, he couldn’t guarantee that Schmitt would help him, though he hoped that the old man would remember their conversation. Jack perched on the bed and checked the contents of the tin. He had a wad of notes as well as Jo’s jewellery. He fingered the pearls and emerald ring, gently.

“Look out for me, Jo. Help me find a way home,” he whispered to them. He felt a shiver run down his spine and he hastily put the contents back into the tin, leaving a few notes out for his landlady. Jack stood back up and removed a few articles of clothing from the drawers, putting them on over the clothes he already wore. He pulled out his warmest coat, even though the weather was hot and placed it ready for when the time came to depart. It was dusk outside, but Jack wanted to leave under cover of darkness. He had to wait a while longer, yet.

When he heard the church clock chime eleven, Jack put on his coat and made sure he had everything he needed. He opened his door and slipped silently downstairs and out through the front door. Keeping well hidden in the shadows, he made his way towards the edge of town and Huber’s farm. It was a good half hour walk to get there and Jack was relieved to reach it without discovery. Now, he just had to locate the barn. He intended to hide there for no more than twenty-four hours. If Schmitt hadn’t been, he knew he would just have to take the risk and move on alone.

After wandering around for twenty minutes, Jack saw a large building looming into view. He made for it and was glad to have finally found the barn. The door was ajar and he slipped inside finding it full of hay. He made his way around the edge towards the back, where he bumped into a ladder. Climbing this, he found himself above the hay in the loft. The moonlight streamed in through the window and he moved away from where it lit up the floor. Curling up in a dark corner, Jack made himself as comfortable as he could and went to sleep.

The sun was streaming through the open window when Jack woke the next morning. He stretched out and lay staring at the roof as his brain remembered what had happened the previous day. He would stay here tonight and set off in the early hours before sunrise. Sitting up, he looked around and saw some barrels in the opposite corner to him. He rose and picked his way carefully over to them, looking inside. He found one of them contained apples and casually removed a couple to eat for breakfast. He crawled across to the window and peered carefully outside. There was no one around so he felt safe for now. He looked towards the hills and wondered which way was the best way to go. The only thing he was certain about was that he needed to avoid the Innsbruck area. If he was recognised here in Landeck, then he was most certainly going to be found out if he went back there. He hoped that Schmitt would come before he left, but he wasn’t going to leave it to chance. He might be discovered if he stayed in the barn any longer than today. 

The day wore on and Jack found the time dragged by, slowly. He watched the sun move across the floor of the loft and stared unseeingly into the dust haze it showed. Finally, a red tinge appeared and the barn grew dark once more. Jack retrieved a few more apples from the barrel before it was too dark for him to see properly and retreated back to his corner. He dozed in the darkness, waking at the slightest rustle. 

Suddenly, footsteps could be heard on the ladder and Jack froze. He hardly dared to breathe as they came closer. A voice was heard gently calling.

“Mayner? Are you here? It’s Schmitt.” Jack let out a big breath of relief.

“Yes. I’m up here,” he replied in an undertone.

“I got your sign. I’m sorry I didn’t make it out here earlier, but there have been problems at the station and I’ve only just managed to get away without being followed.”

“What happened?”

“A gentleman appeared asking to see Doctor Maynard. He was adamant that he had seen you on the platform yesterday and he wanted to speak to you. Of course I denied knowing anyone of that name, as did old Meyer. The gentleman insisted that the man he spoke of was one of the porters and wanted to know when he would be next on shift. At this, old Meyer realised that he must have been talking about you and lost his temper. He wasn’t very pleased to discover that he’d been employing an Englishman for the past three years without knowing. Then, when you didn’t turn up for your shift this afternoon, he was furious. He disappeared off and I came here as soon as I safely could. You’re a wanted man, Mayner.”

“I was before I came to Landeck. Now, I need to get out of here and find somewhere safe to hide or get across the border somehow.”

“There are some herdsmen up in the mountains behind this farm. Go up there and find Berger. When you speak to him, mention that the mountains are clear to see tonight. He will reply that he agrees and then help you.”

“Thank you. What does Berger look like?”

“He is a big man, blond hair and a beard similar to you. I must go now, before I’m missed. Good luck my friend and I hope you make it home to England safely.”

“Godspeed to you, Schmitt. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done.” Schmitt nodded and turned to descend the ladder once more. Jack waited for his footsteps to die away before hiding back in the darkness of the barn. He would wait a while before he set off to find the herdsman.

*****

Jack cautiously climbed down the ladder a few hours after his conversation with Schmitt and made his way to the front of the barn. He looked around before he slipped out into the shadows. He crept around the back of the barn and set off walking slowly up the hillside. He needed to put as much distance as he could between himself and Landeck before the light strengthened. This walk was nothing like the last time he’d had to leave. Then, he’d had Robin with him and they’d had to make their way through a thick fog, hoping they wouldn’t lose their way. If only she hadn’t been so easily recognisable when they’d bumped into the Nazis by the Tiernsee! They’d all be safely in England now, Jo included. Instead he was fleeing for his life once more and Jo was buried in a churchyard, the location of which no one else knew. He was the only person who could tell her family what had happened.

It took Jack two days to locate the herdsmen on the mountainside. He was exhausted and hungry when he finally came across a herdsman smoking a pipe on a rock. He had blond hair and a bushy beard and, when he rose to greet the newcomer, he was even taller than Jack. Jack recognised the description Schmitt had given and guessed that this was Berger, the man who would help him.

“Good evening.” Jack spoke clearly, hiding his nerves. The big man nodded at him and turned to the vista before him. “The mountains are clear to see tonight.”

“They are indeed. The sun is almost set. There will be rain tomorrow.” The big man paused, before continuing, “Come, my friend. We will go to the hut and eat. Tomorrow, I will help you to cross the border into Switzerland.”

“Thank you.” Jack followed the big man to the hut which was hidden around the corner of the mountain. Once there Jack was given a bowl of stew and some beer, both of which he swallowed, gratefully. He had barely eaten since he’d left the barn, and he was hungry. When his bowl was empty, Berger refilled it and Jack thanked him. Eventually, he placed the spoon inside the empty bowl and leaned back.

“Get some sleep. We will leave before dawn.” Jack obeyed and lay down on the spare bunk, pulling the smoky blanket over him for warmth. Berger lay down in the other bunk and was soon snoring. Not so Jack. His mind was working overtime. This man was going to help him get across the border. He was finally going to reach relative safety over three years after he’d had to flee for his life. Eventually, sheer exhaustion overtook him and he slept heavily, Berger having to shake him awake the next morning.

They set off in the dim light of dawn, Jack following the larger man along the narrow paths. Soon, they were descending the mountainside and coming into forest. Berger walked on steadily, speaking very little. He had no interest in talking; he just wanted to help his companion across the border safely. Once he was over, he would go back to his hut and his solitary life on the mountainside. 

The two men eventually came within sight of the border crossing. They stopped a few hundred metres away, well within the trees. 

“This is the crossing into Switzerland,” Berger said. “I will come with you and show you to the road and then I will return. We will need to cross later, when the guards are changing shifts. For now, we wait.” Jack nodded his agreement and settled down amongst the tree roots. He was tired and soon was sleeping. Berger did the same. The guards wouldn’t be changing for a few hours, yet.

Berger woke and shook Jack awake two hours later. As Jack looked up at the other man, he saw him gesture to follow him. Stumbling to his feet, Jack did so as quietly as he could. They walked towards the edge of the trees and watched a guard pass by no more than twenty metres away from them. He walked towards a hut further along the border and entered.

“Now, we cross. Keep well down and move as quickly as possible. If you are seen, you will be shot.” Jack nodded and followed his companion keeping as low as he could. They moved out into the open and towards the border.

They were almost into the trees on the Swiss side, when they heard shots ring out. The two men ran as fast as they could into the forest and continued onwards, until Jack stumbled over a tree root. He measured his full length along the forest floor, winding himself in the process. Berger waited a few yards further on until Jack finally picked himself up and walked towards him. They continued deeper into the forest, until Jack was completely disorientated amongst the trees. Eventually, they began to thin and the two men reached a track. Here, Berger stopped and turned to Jack.

“This leads into Strada. You take a left turn at the junction and it will take you to the centre. I will leave you here and return to my hut.”

“Thank you for helping me and showing me the route.” Jack delved in his pocket and handed the other man some notes before shaking his hand. “I hope you make it safely back.” Berger just nodded and turned back in the direction from which they had come. Jack watched him go before turning onto the track and walking down towards the town of Strada and relative safety.


	5. August 1944

Jack looked around him and sighed. He’d been here in Zurich for over two years now. He was fed up of being in exile and just wanted the war to finish so he could go home. He’d been transferred here a few weeks after he’d managed to cross the border. A family had taken him in and fed him before he was turned over to the authorities. They’d pleaded his case and he’d been allowed to stay in Switzerland, though he was unable to take a proper job. He had been given a little work in the local hotel where he was currently living. Though it wasn’t regular income, it was better than nothing and kept him occupied.

Jack hadn’t tried to contact his family since he’d arrived in Switzerland. He knew he ought to let them know he was still alive, but, he knew there was no way he could even begin to explain what had happened to him in a letter. He just wanted to speak to them in person, show them that he was alive. From what he’d read in the papers, the South of England had been severely bombed during the last few years. He wasn’t surprised, but he hoped that his family were still alive and that his home hadn’t been damaged. Although it was in the New Forest, he knew that it was still quite close to the major ports of Southampton and Portsmouth. A stray bomb could quite easily have landed on his home if the Luftwaffe had been off-target.

The war dragged on. Jack continued to work at the hotel, not that there were many guests. Most of the people there were refugees like him. He’d been lucky enough to arrive before most of them, so got what little work there was offered to him. He did odd jobs and, once the owners had discovered he was actually a doctor, helped with minor ailments and injuries. It wasn’t ideal, but it kept his brain occupied as he remembered what it was he’d originally wanted to dedicate his life to doing. He was especially good with the small children and they always had a ready smile for him whenever they saw him in the corridors.

The children made Jack realise what he would never have with Jo. Though she had been buried over five years ago, her memory was still fresh in his mind. He tried to push her to the back of his mind and concentrated on stacking the meagre supplies which had arrived that morning. He didn’t notice the small boy creep into the room and curl up in the corner to watch him as he worked.

Once all the boxes were stacked, Jack walked out of the room. He was about to close the door, when a small voice stopped him. He peered back inside and smiled down as a boy came scuttling out into the corridor.

“What were you doing in there, Hansi? Your mother will be worried about you.” Jack spoke gently, crouching down to be on a level with him.

“I was watching you, Dr Jack. I’m bored of playing on my own and Mutti is too busy with Maria.”

“That’s no excuse to wander off alone. What if Mutti had needed you for something and you weren’t there to help?”

“She doesn’t care about me. Maria is poorly and Mutti said I was in the way.”

“What’s wrong with Maria?” Jack was worried. He had been watching the small girl lately and noticed that she was always breathless and tired. 

“She’s always coughing, Dr Jack. She keeps me awake in the night. Mutti says she can’t help it.” Jack straightened up and took the small hand in his own.

“I’ll take you back to Mutti, Hansi and have a look at Maria, too.” Together, they walked up the main staircase to the second floor. Upon reaching the top, the pair turned to the right and followed the long corridor to the end room where Hansi, Maria and their mother currently made their home.   
The family were refugees from Austria and, like Jack, they had had to flee for their lives after the Nazis had taken an interest in the activities of Hansi’s father. Herr Lang had been watched before being taken in for questioning by the local Gestapo agents. A neighbour had seen the incident and managed to warn the family what had happened in time. Frau Lang had bundled her two children up and, carrying as much as she could, they had walked out of town that night. Upon reaching the border crossing, they had been lucky enough to meet an elderly man who helped them to cross the border safely and seek asylum in Switzerland. Thus, they had ended up in Zurich, sharing a room in the same hotel where Jack lived.

Jack and Hansi reached the door and Jack knocked quietly. It was opened immediately and Hansi shrank behind him as his mother’s worried face appeared.

“Frau Lang, I hope you weren’t looking for Hansi? I found him down in the storeroom.” Her face lost a little of the worried frown she wore.

“Thank you for returning him safely. I was worried, lest he had left the hotel and wandered away.” A cough came from inside the room and Frau Lang turned away briefly, the frown returning in full force.

“Hansi says Maria is poorly again.”

“Yes. She doesn’t seem able to get rid of this cough.”

“May I have a look at her?” Frau Lang opened the door further and ushered Jack inside, Hansi following in his wake. Crossing to the bed, he saw Maria was pale and the persistent cough was obviously sapping what little strength she had. Not for the first did Jack wish he had his equipment. That had had to be left behind in Austria when he had first attempted to flee the country. He gently asked Frau Lang questions and found out all he needed to know.

“She needs proper medical attention, I’m afraid. This cough isn’t a good sign.”

“I can’t take both children with me. Hansi is a handful on his own. Are you sure she needs to go to hospital?”

“Yes. The sooner you get her checked properly, the better. I can look after Hansi while you take her. We can entertain each other for a few hours.”

“I would be most grateful if you would as I know no one else here. I can’t leave him alone.” Jack smiled at Hansi.

“How about we go for a walk while Mutti takes Maria to the hospital?” The small boy nodded enthusiastically. He no more wanted to go to the hospital than his mother wished to take him. 

“You must promise to be a good boy and do everything you’re asked without arguments,” his mother told him. 

“I will, Mutti, I promise.”

“Then you may stay.” She bent down and kissed Hansi, who immediately wiped his cheek as his mother straightened up. Jack saw this and smothered a grin as Frau Lang turned to him. “Thank you so much for everything.”

“It’s no problem. I’ll keep Hansi with me until you return. Luckily, the hospital isn’t far away. I’ll carry Maria down to the door for you if I may?” Frau Lang nodded and, after ensuring she was well wrapped, Jack picked the little girl up, cuddling her in his arms. He led the way back downstairs and handed her over to her mother when they reached the lobby. After waving them off, he turned back to Hansi, who had followed him downstairs. “Now, shall we go for a short walk?”

*****

It was late when Frau Lang returned that evening. Hansi had fallen asleep in Jack’s arms as they waited in the lounge area. 

“How is Maria?” Jack asked as she joined him on the sofa.

“She has to stay in hospital while the doctors do some tests. They wouldn’t allow me to stay with her overnight. Thank you for looking after Hansi for me.”

“He’s been as good as gold. However, I think he needs his bed now.”

“Of course. If you’ll give him to me I’ll take him upstairs and tuck him in.”

“Let me carry him for you. I have him comfortably and I’d hate to disturb him more than necessary.”

“I can carry him.”

“How will you unlock the door? He’s a hefty weight as well and you’ve already had to carry Maria to the hospital.” Frau Lang nodded reluctantly. She was too tired and worried about her daughter’s condition to argue. Jack saw this and rose carefully to his feet before walking to the door. Frau Lang followed and together, they mounted the stairs. When they reached the room, she scrabbled in her bag for her key and unlocked the door, opening it wide for Jack to pass through. He laid Hansi gently on the small bed and covered him over, before turning back to the door.

“I can look after Hansi tomorrow while you visit Maria.”

“Thank you, but I will take him with me tomorrow.”

“Of course. If you need me to watch him, please let me know. I’ll leave you to get some sleep, Frau Lang. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, and thank you again.” Jack stepped out into the corridor and walked towards his own room. When he arrived there, he let himself in and lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Eventually, he undressed and climbed into bed.

Jack woke late the next morning, an unusual occurrence for him. He climbed out of bed and sought the bathroom for a shower, only to find that the hot water had been used. He had a cold wash and, once he had dressed, wandered downstairs to see if there was any breakfast left in the dining room. He was lucky and had was just sitting down to coffee and the last rolls when the hotel owner came in to clear away.

“Good morning, Herr Doktor. You’re late today.”

“Good morning, Herr Winkler.”

“There is a job going if you want some work?”

“I’d appreciate it. Where is it?”

“It’s down the road at the carpenters. He needs a general labourer for a few weeks.”

“I’ll take it. How soon does he need me?”

“Today if possible. Tell him I sent you.”

“I will. I’ll get off now.” Jack drained the last of his coffee, pulling a face at the bitterness of the liquid. He knew that sugar was something in short supply, so he had stopped adding it to his coffee to allow the rations to go further. Thanking Herr Winkler, Jack left the hotel and turned down the street towards where he knew the carpenter was based. It was a small yard down an alley near the end of the street. Jack found the carpenter there and, once he’d made himself known, he was set on to chopping furniture down for firewood. 

Jack had very little time for the next few months as he continued doing odd jobs. The labouring at the carpenters had led onto more odd jobs around the suburb in which the hotel stood and Jack was busy from morning until evening most days. He barely had time to think about how Frau Lang was getting on with Maria and Hansi. He had passed them in the corridors a few times, but each time he was in a hurry to get to work so he had only had time to greet them in passing. 

As the winter drew in, the jobs became scarce and Jack found himself spending more time back in the hotel. He realised that he hadn’t seen the Lang family for a few weeks and when he next bumped into Herr Winkler, he enquired after them.

“I haven’t seen Frau Lang and Hansi for a while, do you know what’s happened to them?”

“They have left here and moved to the mountains. The small girl has been diagnosed as in the early stages of tuberculosis and the doctors recommended they moved out of the city for the sake of her health.”

“Poor Maria! Have they moved her to a Sanatorium, then?”

“I don’t think so. I doubt if Frau Lang could afford to pay for her to stay. She was struggling to pay to live here, despite my refusal to take much more than a minimum amount.”

“At least if they’re in the mountains, Maria will be benefitting from the air there. I wish I’d had chance to see them before they left. I could have given Frau Lang advice on a regime for Maria since tuberculosis is my speciality.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t know where they were heading. From here, they may have gone to the Oberland, but I have no forwarding address.”

“We’ll just have to hope that all is well for them.” Jack then left the portly owner to go about his business and took himself out for a walk since he had no work that day.


	6. March 1945

It was early evening in March, and Jack was wandering along the street back towards the hotel when he heard the air raid siren blare out and the drone of planes above him. Before he had chance to reach the safety of the nearest air raid shelter, the noise of incendiaries screeched past him and the building he had been walking towards was turned to rubble before his eyes. Jack stood stock still as he realised that his home was gone. Destroyed in seconds. He was once again without a roof over his head and with nowhere to go.

Breaking into a run, Jack literally tore across the last few hundred yards to the hotel and watched as a figure staggered out from the entrance which, by some miracle, was still standing. 

“Herr Winkler!” Jack caught the old man as he staggered down the steps and steadied him, before helping him to sit down at the edge of the road. “Is there anyone else inside?”

“Yes. Some of the children were with me.” Jack didn’t wait to find out any more. He dived up and plunged in through the entrance to the hotel. He knew where they would have taken shelter and quickly reached the spot under the grand staircase. He called quietly, so he didn’t panic the children.

“It’s Dr Jack. How many of you are in there?”

“Four of us,” came back a muffled reply.

“Are any of you hurt?”

“Yes, Annelie is.”

“Those of you who can, come out, carefully. I’ll get Annelie.” Jack waited and was rewarded by seeing the first boy appear in the opening. Jack helped him out into the foyer and bade him to go out into the street to where Herr Winkler was sitting. He had no doubt that others would out be there now and be able to take care of them as they exited the building. He soon had two of the children out and the third was at the entrance when he heard a creaking sound.

“Quickly!” He pulled the girl out of the way and pushed her towards the entrance. Plunging into the cubby hole, he managed to locate Annelie. She was shaking and he could hear her sobs in the darkness. “Shhh. I’ll get you out of here, Annelie. Where are you hurt?”

“M-my leg.”

“Which one?”

“L-left.”

“I’ll try and be gentle, but, I need to get you out of here, now. The building isn’t safe.” Before she had chance to answer, Jack picked her up in his arms and she screamed as the pain in her leg became unbearable. Moving as fast as possible, Jack managed to get her out into the foyer when the creaking became louder. Debris began to rain down on him as he ran for the entrance, making it through the door just as the rest of the building collapsed behind him. 

Jack carefully lowered Annelie to the ground. He looked at her leg, seeing that it was broken and that she needed medical attention. Removing his coat, he gently wrapped it around the girl to keep her warm before shouting for someone fetch an ambulance. It was still cold and snow lay on the ground. Calling to Annelie’s brother, he requested him to sit with his sister until the ambulance arrived and left them to check on the other people who had made it out of the hotel. Luckily, no one else was hurt, other than cuts and bruises and Jack was able to return to Annelie and reassure her. 

The ambulance pulled up and Jack spoke with the men, helping them to place Annelie gently on the stretcher. They returned his coat to him, wrapping a blanket around the girl in its place. They also wrapped a blanket around Jack, insisting that he accompany them too. Jack realised that he was shivering and made no argument when he was escorted into the back of the ambulance and driven to the hospital.

Jack lay on the hospital bed in the darkness. He had been patched up where the falling debris had cut his head and the nurse had given him some painkillers for the headache which had begun. He’d taken them thankfully and was now waiting for them to take effect so he could attempt to sleep. He’d found out that Annelie was going to be fine once her leg had been set and that there were no more injuries, thanks to his swift recovery of the children. His thoughts faded as the painkillers finally took effect and he slept.

When Jack woke the next morning, he felt disorientated. Then his memory of the night before came flooding back. Sitting up in bed, he was just about to climb out when a nurse entered the room. She carried a tray and placed it on the table beside him. It contained breakfast and Jack smiled his thanks, gratefully. 

“When you have eaten, you are free to go home. The doctor is satisfied with your progress and says you have no need to stay any longer.”

“Thank you. I’m grateful for all your help.”

“It is my job. Do you have anywhere you can go? The hotel is just rubble now.”

“No. I need to find new accommodation, somewhere.”

“There are some vacant rooms at the guest house in the next street. You could try there. I’ll write down the address if you like?”

“That would be lovely. Do you know if anything has been salvaged from the hotel?”

“No. Did you have many belongings there?”

“Not much. I’m a refugee. I’m just waiting to be able to get back to my own country if this war ever ends.”

“It cannot last for much longer. Already, much progress has been made by the Allies. Hopefully, they’ll reach Berlin soon and then it will be finished, in Europe at least. Where are you from?”

“I’m English. It’s a long story. No one knows I’m still alive and I just want to go home, now. I want to put the last seven years behind me and try to forget all that I’ve been through.”

“Surely the Red Cross have informed your family if you are a refugee?”

“I told them not to contact my family. I couldn’t deal with the letters and the hope they’d contain. There isn’t much left for me to hope for, now.” Jack watched the nurse searching for words to argue. He turned away from her and looked at the contents of the tray. “I mustn’t keep you. I’m sure you’re busy with all you need to do before ward rounds start. Thank you for breakfast and I’ll be grateful for the name of the guest house. If I may, I’ll collect it from the desk on my way out?”

“Of course. I’ll leave it with the receptionist for you.” She turned and opened the door, where she paused briefly before looking directly at him once more. “Don’t give up on hope. You’ll get home one day, soon. Good luck!” She disappeared, leaving Jack to eat his breakfast, collect his things and to walk slowly out of the hospital.


	7. May 1945

Jack walked down the street, his hands in his pockets. Victory in Europe had been declared two days previously and he was relieved to know he could at last make the final journey back to his home. He was reluctant to leave, though. Feeling the smooth sides of the metal tin in his pocket, he knew he had bad news to deliver and he wasn’t looking forward to making a journey to wherever Madge and Jem Russell were now living. He wondered if they had stayed in Guernsey, or if they had moved on to England once war had been declared. The only way he would be able to find out was to go home first. Jem was bound to have contacted his family when he hadn’t made it over the Swiss border with the others.

Reluctantly, he walked towards the train station and the ticket office. There were queues everywhere and Jack joined one for displaced persons. He stood patiently for over two hours until he reached the front and put his request for a ticket to England. He was given a time to return to the station where he would be allocated a seat on the train to Paris. From there, he was told, he would have to join another refugee queue and attempt to find passage to England. Jack was satisfied. He knew he was finally on his way home, however long it might take him to get transport to England after he’d reached Paris. He returned to his room in the guest house and packed the few belongings he had before going for a final walk around Zurich.

The train to Paris was full and Jack was placed in a compartment with other refugees who were attempting to reach various parts of France. They all had few belongings and no one was inclined to be friendly, each more occupied with wanting their journey to be over with. Closing his eyes, Jack allowed the motion of the train to fill his mind and thoughts, lulling him into a sleep which was neither refreshing nor deep.

Jack woke with a start. Looking around the compartment, he found he was the only person awake and that the train seemed to be slackening in speed. He peered through the gloom outside the window and saw that they were in the outskirts of a city. As the dawn brightened, grey becoming red and then blue, he saw in the distance the silhouette of the Eiffel Tower and was relieved to know that the first part of his journey was almost over. When the train finally heaved into the station, he saw a fine drizzle was falling around him and that Paris was different from when he’d travelled through before the war. He hitched his bags over his shoulder and set off towards the Gare du Nord and the next refugee queue. On the way, he bought a newspaper and stopped to have some breakfast in a small café he remembered. The food wasn’t good, but the coffee was strong and woke him most effectually. 

The refugee queue at the Gare du Nord was twice as long as the one in Zurich had been. Jack waited patiently and was eventually rewarded when he reached the front. A train was due to leave for Calais in the next half hour. If he could reach the platform in the next ten minutes, he would be allocated a seat. Jack paused only long enough to thank the person at the desk before running across the station, over the footbridge and down to the platform. He reached there just as the engine started and was given the last place on the train. He was on his way to Calais!

The channel crossing to Dover was rough and Jack was glad to find himself back on solid ground. He had to join a refugee queue once more in Dover and when he finally reached the front was glad to ask for his ticket to the New Forest in English. He’d barely spoken it during the war for fear of being discovered, and then because so many of the refugees in Switzerland were German speakers. His ticket in his hand, he jumped on the train to London, knowing he had two changes to make and then he would be home. 

Jack looked at the bomb damage in Southampton and for the first time, realised that his home may no longer even be standing. He had twenty minutes to wait before his next train, so he found a telephone box and decided to ring home. He listened to the incessant ringing at the other end of the line and hoped that someone would pick up. He was eventually rewarded by hearing his mother’s voice on the other end of the line.

“Mother? It’s Jack.”

“Jack?” A pause, before she finally continued, “You’re alive?”

“I am. I’m in Southampton. The next train is in fifteen minutes. I’ll be home soon.”

“Oh, Jack! I’m so glad to hear you! What happened?”

“It’s a long story, Mother. I have to go, or I’ll miss my train. I’ll tell you when I get there.”

“I’ll send the trap. Be quick, son.”

“I will. Bye.” Jack hung up and rested his forehead against the glass of the booth for a moment as he tried to gather himself back together. Blinking hard, he pushed open the door and walked over to the platform where he boarded his final train home.

When the trap finally pulled up outside Pretty Maids, Jack found both his parents waiting at the door. He dived off the seat and across the drive to where they were standing. Mrs Maynard hugged him to her and his father followed suit, both of them overwhelmed to see their child still alive and finally home once more.

“We thought we’d lost you as well as Bob,” Mr Maynard told him as the stable lad placed Jack’s bags beside the door and walked the horse round to the stable block. “Come on inside the house and we’ll find some tea. You must be hungry. Leave your things. Moira will take them upstairs for you.”

Allowing himself to be led inside and to the morning room, Jack was silent, digesting the news that his brother was dead. The sheer fact that he was finally home after all this time and the shock of hearing about his brother’s death was finally too much for him and he broke down. His father immediately rang for the local doctor, realising that his son needed help which he and his wife were unable to give. When the doctor arrived, he immediately sent Jack to bed with a sedative before turning to reassure Mr and Mrs Maynard. 

“He’s exhausted. Let him sleep as long as he will. I’ll call round again tomorrow evening to see him.”

“Will he be alright?” Mrs Maynard asked.

“In time, I’m sure he will. Just now, he’s just collapsed from the mental strain he’s been under these past few years as well as from the shock of hearing about his brother. Now he’s back home again, he’ll get some much needed rest and the quiet he needs to sort himself out. Don’t tell anyone else he’s back home. Leave him to sort himself out first before you start broadcasting it about.”

“Of course. Thank you for coming, Doctor.” Mr Maynard shook his hand before showing him out. When he returned to the morning room, he spoke to his wife. “I had thought about ringing Sir James, but, in the circumstances, we’d better wait a while before we do that. Jack’s been through enough and he’ll need his strength before he meets anyone from before the war.”

“I understand. Let’s just be thankful that he’s home at last. At least we can write to Mollie with some positive news, finally. I don’t think that she counts in the Doctor’s order. She’s his twin and is at the other side of the world. She has a right to know he’s alive.”

“Write to Mollie by all means, but make sure that she knows she isn’t to tell anyone else until Jack himself gives her leave. As you say, she should know that her twin has finally made it home.” They left it at that and Jack was allowed to sleep on until he should finally wake.

*****

Jack slept for the best part of the next two weeks. His exhaustion was complete and the local doctor forbade any visitors. He was finding Jack to be a most difficult patient as he was reluctant to speak of what had happened to him during the past few years. A month or so after Jack’s return and one particularly trying visit, the doctor spoke to Mr Maynard.

“Is there anyone else you know who may be able to speak to your son? I’m afraid he’s beyond my experience. He needs to talk, but is reluctant to speak to me.”

“I’m not sure. I can contact his colleague from when he worked in Austria, but I don’t know whether it will be a good idea. Seeing him may well make things worse as Jack was engaged to his sister-in-law before he disappeared. I can only assume something happened to her, but, he won’t speak of anyone he knew then.” 

“I understand your concern, but it may the one thing which helps him. Something needs to be done to make him confront whatever has happened before he becomes seriously ill. His exhaustion is something which will go with time, but only if we can help him to reconcile himself to whatever happened to him while he was missing. Unfortunately, I just don’t have the time to spend with him at the moment.” 

“I understand. I’ll contact his colleague and see what he thinks. I know he’s also a busy man, but he knows Jack well and may be able to come.”

“Say nothing to Jack. He may not appreciate the interference and be determined to stop it happening.”

“Of course. Thank you for your time, Doctor.” Mr Maynard showed him out and went to his study to make a telephone call.

The results of that call appeared in person a week later. Sir James Russell had been glad to hear that Jack was still alive and was home, at least in body. When he had heard the news that his friend had returned alone, he had drawn his own conclusions about what had happened to his young sister-in-law. From what Mr Maynard told him, he knew that Jack was in no state to give him the closure he needed for his wife, but, he accepted an invitation to visit nonetheless. He heard a bare outline of Jack’s return and mental state which was enough to understand that he may be able to help where the local doctor was unable to do so.

The trap had been despatched to collect Jem from the station and it returned just as Jack rose. He had been disturbed by the horse’s hooves and he wondered who could be visiting. He knew that his parents weren’t in the habit of entertaining and that there had been no visitors since he had arrived home. Jack had been grateful for the solitude it had offered him as he attempted to sleep and forget the past seven years. He had been grateful for the sleeping tablets the doctor had offered him, giving him dreamless sleep instead of the nightmares he knew would come otherwise. He was wise enough to know that they were only a temporary solution and that if he wasn’t careful, he could end up addicted to them. Currently, though, he could see no further forward than each day at a time. The tablets stopped the nightmares and he knew he’d be unable to cope with those in his current state.

Dressing, Jack ran quietly down the back staircase and through the door to the hall. He was brought up short before he went more than two steps down the corridor by a voice he knew well. Swiftly, he turned and retreated quietly back the way he had come. He had no wish to speak to the owner of that voice yet. Not until he had had chance to collect himself first. Sliding out through the kitchen door, he went down the path towards the kitchen garden and slipped through a gap in the wall before he reached there. The path led up along a ridge which overlooked Pretty Maids and also the nearby village. Normally, it was a walk which Jack enjoyed, but not this day. He headed off the path to the small dip he knew from his childhood and dropped into it knowing he wouldn’t be easily found. The only other person who knew of its existence was his twin and she was at the other side of the world. Jack gave himself up to thinking.

It was after lunchtime, when Jack finally felt able to leave his hiding place and face Jem. He walked slowly back along the path and went into the house by the kitchen where he persuaded Mabel, the cook to give him a sandwich. Once it was eaten, he walked into the drawing room, where he was certain his parents and Jem would be at this time of day.

The sound of the door opening to admit Jack startled Jem, but he quickly regained his composure. Although he was expecting Jack to look different, he was shocked by the haggard appearance of his friend. Whatever had happened since he had last seen Jack, Jem could see that it hadn’t been a pleasant experience. He automatically rose to greet him and, when they shook hands, Jem could easily feel the bones. He searched Jack’s face, but the younger man had his features well under control and he gave away no clues.

“Have a seat, Jack and I’ll ring for tea,” Mrs Maynard said once the initial greetings were over.

“No, thank you, Mother. I need some fresh air. Do you fancy a walk, Jem?”

“Of course.” Jem rose and followed him to the door. Here, Jack paused and turned back to his parents.

“We’ll back in time for dinner, Mother.” He looked at Jem. “I assume you’re staying tonight?”

“Yes. I’m here until Tuesday.” Jack just nodded and exited the room, leaving Jem to follow. 

Leading the way through the grounds, Jack walked swiftly along a path which was seldom used, Jem trailing in his wake and hoping that he didn’t ruin his trousers on the brambles which overflowed onto the path. He could already hear Madge’s strictures if that happened. He was about to ask Jack to wait while he recovered his breath when Jack abruptly stopped, Jem almost walking into him. Looking out at the view, Jack spoke without seeing anything.

“Jo’s dead.” Although Jem was expecting to hear the worst news of his sister-in-law, he didn’t expect it to be almost the first thing Jack said to him.

“I guessed that. I thought you were too.”

“Unfortunately not.” Jack moved across to an old wooden bench and dropped onto it gesturing for Jem to join him. He knew that he’d find it easier to tell the story if he wasn’t looking directly at his friend. Leaning forward he rested his elbows on his knees, debating how to start.

“What happened after you left the Sonnalpe?” Jem spoke quietly, knowing that he needed to know the story, but, also acutely aware that Jack was still some way from being well. He didn’t want his friend to suffer in silence, something which he had gathered was happening from his conversation with Mr and Mrs Maynard. 

Haltingly, and with some reluctance, Jack began. Jem stayed silent. He knew that interrupting was the last thing Jack needed. He listened with mounting horror as Jack unfolded his tale and what had happened to Jo. The fact that Jack spoke in flat tones, with no emotion wasn’t lost on him. He could tell that his friend was only just holding himself together, and wasn’t surprised when he discovered that Jack had been stuck behind enemy lines in Austria. 

The daylight was fading when Jack finally tailed off and he shivered. Standing up, he moved over to the edge of the hill and stared out over the landscape with unseeing eyes. He was unable to stop the tears as they dripped down, the first time he had allowed himself to show any grief since Jo had died.

Jem watched as Jack’s shoulders shook with sobs. He let him cry, instinctively knowing that this was the first time that Jack had shown any emotion since he had left the Sonnalpe with Robin that foggy morning. He wanted to know where Jo was buried, but knew that he couldn’t ask, yet. Jack was far too fragile to cope with those questions.

Jack brought himself back under control and eventually turned back to Jem. He blew his nose loudly and even in the half-light, Jem could see his eyes were swollen and he was only just back in control of himself.

“We’d better be getting back. Dinner will be ready soon and I need to change.” He didn’t wait for Jem to reply, simply setting off back along the path into the trees once more. “Watch your footing!” he called back as he heard Jem stumble slightly.

It was going dark when they returned and Jack left Jem at the front door to find his room, running upstairs to his own domain. He dropped onto the bed and lay staring at the ceiling for a long time, the gong for dinner finally rousing him from his reverie. He quickly changed and then walked slowly downstairs to the dining room. His parents were surprised to see him, knowing that he had avoided joining them at mealtimes if he could. They had religiously set his place each night but were beginning to despair of seeing him there. He stayed silent throughout the meal, Jem managing light conversation with Mr and Mrs Maynard. As soon as the meal was over, he excused himself and departed to bed where, for the first time since he had reached home, he slept without the aid of sleeping tablets.

*****

Jem was due to depart on Tuesday morning. He had watched Jack carefully in the few days he had been at Pretty Maids and knew that he was going to take a long time to heal from what had happened. He wanted to offer Jack his old job back, but knew that he would be reluctant to take it in his current state. He needed the space he had at Pretty Maids to be able to come to terms with Jo’s death, not be in a sanatorium where death was encountered regularly. Jem knew Jack was a good doctor and hoped that when he was ready, he would want to return to the profession.

On Monday night, Jem and Jack were left alone in the house, Mr and Mrs Maynard having already accepted an invitation to dinner with friends. Jack had poured them both a large whisky after they’d eaten and they were sitting in a companionable silence for the first time since Jem had arrived.

“You’ll tell Madge I’m sorry, won’t you? I wish I could have done more to save her. I wish I could have taken those bullets for her.”

“You did what you could, Jack. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen. We don’t blame you. Circumstances were way beyond your control, so stop feeling guilty about what couldn’t be helped.”

“It means a lot to know that. Thank you.”

“May I ask a question?”

“Go ahead.”

“Where is she buried? Madge will want to know. Dick too.”

“Beneath the yew in the churchyard in a small village called Faggen.”

“I’ve not heard of that.”

“It’s not far from Landeck, which was where I lived for a while. Not that I was able to go to Faggen. I couldn’t risk giving myself away and the villagers wouldn’t have welcomed me. I knew that, so I stayed away.” 

“The grave is unmarked, then?”

“As far as I know. I certainly didn’t put up a stone. I had barely enough to live on as it was. I doubt the villagers would have either. They took no payment for the burial. I wasn’t in a position to ask for a stone and I doubt they would have wanted one as that would tell anyone that they had harboured fugitives.” Jem stayed silent. He could see Jack was becoming agitated with the questioning, and he had no wish to push his friend away. Jack rose and paced the room before stopping at the sideboard and refilling his whisky glass. He picked it up and stared at the amber liquid.

“Do you know I’ve barely drunk any alcohol in the past seven years?”

“I expect it wasn’t that easy to come by.”

“There’s that. I also didn’t dare, in case I made a stupid mistake and got caught. In the end, I was recognised by someone on the station platform. That was the worst part. I needed to disappear fast and knew that I couldn’t just walk out of the job in the middle of my shift. I had to hope that he wouldn’t return until I’d finished and left for the night. I was lucky.”

“You are lucky. You’ve made it home and have family and friends who are relieved to know that.” Jack resumed his pacing of the room and Jem watched him as he absorbed that last comment.

“Mollie said something similar in her letter.” He suddenly stopped pacing and placed his glass on the coffee table. Feeling in his pocket he pulled out something before walking over to Jem. “I ought to give these back. They belong to Madge, really.” He dropped the articles into Jem’s hand before quickly turning towards the French windows. Jem looked down at the Belsornian pearls and the emerald engagement ring Jo had been wearing when she had left the Sonnalpe. 

“They kept me going all the time I was out there. They were the only things I managed to save.” He gulped and downed the final contents of his glass.

“Then you should keep them.” Jem had no hesitation in his voice. He knew that his wife would prefer them to be in Jack’s possession if they would help him. He fully suspected that they were also the only physical reminder Jack had of Jo. He rose and crossed to Jack. Removing the glass he placed them back in his friend’s hand. 

“She was your fiancée, Jack. You have just as much right to them, more so in a way, since if she was still alive, she’d now be your wife. They’ve given you the strength to endure everything you’ve gone through and I’d like to hope they’ll give you the strength to carry on in the world.”

“Thank you.” The words were barely a whisper, but Jem caught them and was satisfied he’d done the right thing. He knew that Jack would finally let out the grief he’d been carrying with him since Jo’s death in his arms. He moved to the sideboard and refilled their glasses, handing Jack’s back to him.

They both stood by the French windows and drank silently. Mr Maynard poked his head into the room to say good night, but, didn’t disturb them when he saw them standing side by side. The demeanour of his son was enough to confirm to him that he’d done the right thing when the local doctor had recommended he ring someone Jack knew to help.

It was late when Jem and Jack finally retired to bed. Jack carefully replaced the pearls and ring in the small tin, now lined with a scrap of material he’d fished out from his mother’s work basket. He put the box in his bedside drawer and turned out the light. He didn’t sleep immediately, though as he lay in the darkness, he felt a sense of peace for the first time. He felt he’d done something right. He hoped now that his memories would begin to fade and that he would recover from the nightmare his life had been since that fateful day. His eyes closed and sleep uninterrupted by nightmares washed over him for the first time.


	8. February 1949

Jack stood outside the large building and drew in a deep breath. Squaring his shoulders, he mentally shook himself before walking purposely towards the main entrance and across to the reception desk. After stating he had an appointment with Sir James Russell, he was instructed to take a seat and someone would be with him shortly. Jack wandered across to the window and stood looking outside, his nerves returning in full force. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for this, yet. It had taken him three years to pull himself back together after he had reached home and he was still unsure if he had done the right thing in accepting this job. There were people around here who knew him and knew what had happened to him. A voice broke into his thoughts.

“Good to see you, Jack. Let’s go to my office and we’ll discuss everything further.” Jack nodded and followed Jem across the reception area and down a short corridor. They stopped outside a door and Jem ushered him inside, closing the door firmly behind him. 

“Have a seat. I’ve sent for some tea which should be here shortly.” A knock at the door as he finished speaking proved his point and Jem admitted his secretary. “I’ll be engaged until lunchtime, Miss Jones.”

“Of course. I’ll make sure no one disturbs you.”

“Thank you.” Once she had disappeared, Jem poured the tea and handed a cup to Jack. “How are you?”

“Nervous. Wondering why I’m doing this.”

“You’ll be fine. I don’t intend to throw you straight in at the deep end. I know how much effort it’s taken to get you here. You need to rebuild your confidence first.”

“Then why on earth have you employed me?”

“Because I know you have all the skills and qualities I want in someone. You’re a good doctor, Jack, and I want you back working with me again. I’ve missed your input and logical thinking.”

“Let’s see how I go on first.” Jem nodded his agreement.

“You need to get yourself back up to speed with developments over the past ten years, so these next few weeks won’t involve you dealing with patients in person. I’ll give you all the files and information to look through. That should give you enough to be going on with.” 

“Do I have somewhere to base myself?”

“Yes. There’s an empty office two doors further down this corridor. It’s the end office so it’ll be quiet for you. If you need to take a breather, the grounds are pretty extensive and back onto woodland. Most of the patients who are outside are round to the left of the building. I’ll show you round so you can get your bearings.” Jem replaced his cup on the tray and rose, Jack reluctantly doing the same. He was grateful that Jem wanted him back, but he was beginning to wonder how he’d cope now he was here.

After a quick tour of the building, Jem showed Jack his office. It was bare save for the desk and chairs on either side. A small lamp was to one side of the desktop and a pile of papers and books lay in the centre. 

“Let me know what you need in the way of furniture and I’ll see what I can acquire. The men will bring a couple of filing cabinets in when they have time.”

“Thanks. I’ll have a think.”

“I’ll leave you to it for now. I’ll be in my office if you need me for anything.” Jack nodded and Jem left him alone. He wandered around the bare room, pausing to look out of the window. The view was of farmland, stretching towards a treeline on the brow of the hill. Turning back into the room, Jack crossed to the desk and sat behind it. He was looking at a blank wall, with the window behind him. Standing back up, he moved the chair to see if he could find a nicer place to position the desk. When he was satisfied, he began to drag the desk across towards the chair. The noise was louder than he expected and he paused, wondering if he had disturbed anyone. When no one came, he continued to drag the desk until he had it where he wanted. Sitting down, he was able to see both the door and the view from the window. He decided to leave the other chair where it was for now and picked up the top paper from the pile on his desk. It was a note from Jem briefly explaining the papers. Jack pushed it to one side and began to read the first file.

When Jem appeared in the early afternoon, he found Jack with his feet on the desk and papers littering the surrounding area. Jack looked up with an absent frown which Jem recognised from days long ago. He knew that Jack had always been keen on finding out the smaller details and researching things further, something Jem had appreciated since it helped him in his own research to try and find a cure. A notepad lay precariously on the edge of the desk and was covered in notes written in Jack’s unmistakeable scrawl whilst the pen was nowhere to be seen. Jem suspected it would be behind Jack’s ear, his normal place to keep it when he wasn’t wearing a jacket.

“Productive morning?” Jack nodded absently, barely noticing Jem’s presence in the room. “Come and have some lunch.”

“Later. I need to finish this or I’ll lose my place.” Jem left him alone, knowing better than to interrupt him further. He stopped long enough by his secretary to ask her to take some tea into his friend and continued on to the canteen for his own lunch. 

When Jem had finished for the day, he noticed that a light was still burning in Jack’s office. He went to turn it out, thinking that Jack must have forgotten and was surprised to find him still there.

“I thought you’d have gone home hours ago.” Jack looked up in surprise.

“What time is it?”

“It’s gone eight.” He saw the half empty cup of tea on the desk. “Have you actually left here since this morning?”

“No. I’ve been so absorbed I hadn’t realised the time.”

“Go home. It’ll still be here in the morning.”

“Yes.” Jack’s eyes strayed back to the paper in his hand. Jem crossed the room, calmly removed it from his hand and handed him his jacket. Jack reluctantly took the hint and stood up. Once he’d sorted his papers into more appropriate piles, he accompanied Jem out of the door and back to the car park where they parted company.

Jem kept a discreet eye on Jack’s activities for the next few weeks. He noted that once Jack had arrived in a morning, he very rarely left his office. Knowing how long it had taken Jack to reach this position, he was reluctant to push his friend; however, he knew that Jack needed to meet the colleagues he would be working with sooner rather than later. It was with this in mind that he called a department meeting to discuss the latest advancements and how they could apply it to their patients. 

The meeting went as planned, though as Jem had expected, Jack kept a quiet stance as befitted the newest member of staff, only contributing when asked a direct question. Jem could sense the intrigue of those who had not known Jack previously, though he had no intention of enlightening them of Jack’s past. That was Jack’s business alone. 

After the meeting, Jack left to continue his research and the others dispersed to their jobs, leaving Jem alone with the one colleague who had known Jack in Austria. Gottfried Mensch looked across the table at Jem. 

“He is most quiet. Not at all like the person I knew before we fled.”

“He’s still dealing with it all. He had to hide in full view for most of the war, unable to grieve for Jo and not knowing if he would be discovered or betrayed. When he finally came home, he collapsed completely. It’s taken a lot of persuasion to get him back here.”

“I’m glad to see him and he will have my full support. I can’t imagine what he went through, but I know we all felt guilty when we had to leave him behind. We couldn’t risk waiting any longer or we would have been discovered.”

“He knows that. He feels guilty that he left you to get everyone across the border alone.”

“He shouldn’t. If anything, we ought to have kept closer together along the road so that he didn’t have to go searching for Jo and Hilary and Maria. What is past is past. We can’t go back and correct it, however much we try. Do any of the others know?”

“No. As long as his work isn’t affected, no one else needs to know. Knowing Jack, that’s unlikely to happen, though. The main thing is stopping him from overworking himself. He’s barely left his office since he started and seems to be throwing himself entirely into his job in order to forget. I intend to get him back on the wards once he’s had chance to finish bringing himself up to date with everything.”

“That is a good idea. He will have chance to develop what he’s researched and will also give him something else to think about.” Jem nodded his agreement. 

“I hope this position will give him back his need for life.”

“I’m sure it will. I must depart and do my rounds, now.” Gottfried left and Jem looked thoughtful. He hoped that Jack realised that he had friends to turn to if he needed them. Turning back to his desk, he decided that all he could do was watch and wait.


	9. September 1949

Jack had been back at work for a good six months before he found questions being asked about his past. So far, he had managed to be quite vague to those who had enquired. This particular day was to prove to everyone that he wasn’t prepared to answer any more questions.

A new colleague had been casually quizzing Jack over the past few weeks and doing some digging into Jack’s past in his free time. Dr Simpson was proud of his work as a doctor in the war, having been evacuated from Dunkirk and then being sent to the Far East. He was intrigued by Jack’s reticence when asked what he had done during the war. When he had discovered that Jack had not been in any of the armed forces, he began delving into his history. What he found was that Jack had been a doctor in Austria before the war and that nothing was heard of him after Anschluss had been declared. He could find out no further information, but he figured it meant that Jack had been on the opposing side.

Thus, a rumour began to spread. At first, Jack just ignored it all. He knew what had happened, and he just wanted to try and move on with his life without having to deal with what other people thought had happened. However, the rumour persisted and he found himself being confronted by Dr Simpson one day. The ensuing discussion was loud enough to attract the attention of Gottfried Mensch, who immediately found Jem. 

Jem landed just as Jack stormed out of the office, his temper evident on his face. Jem let him go, knowing that he would be unable to talk to him in that mood. It wasn’t often that Jack had ever lost his temper, but on the few occasions it had happened, Jem had learned that it was easier to leave him alone until he should calm down. He turned to Dr Simpson, who looked a little shocked from Jack’s outburst and demanded to know what had happened. Upon getting nothing from him, Jem turned to Gottfried.

“Have you any idea?”

“I caught the end of the argument, and it is to do with what happened during the war.”

“I see. I think it’s time we had a talk, Dr Simpson. Thank you, Dr Mensch, I won’t take up any more of your time.” Gottfried took the dismissal as intended and departed to his rounds, leaving Jem to escort Dr Simpson to his office. Once there, Jem indicated to the chair before the desk as he sat down in his own.

“I believe I’ve found the originator of a vicious rumour I’ve heard circulating lately. I think you have some explaining to do, Dr Simpson.”

An hour later, Jem left his office in search of Jack. He wasn’t in his office and no one had seen him. Jem collected his coat and hat and walked out into the grounds, hoping that Jack was somewhere nearby. He found him at the edge of the woodland.

“Jack?”

“I can’t do this, Jem. I can’t work with people who think I’m a Nazi. I’m the last person anyone should think of in that capacity after what I went through.”

“It was a rumour. No more. Someone got hold of half a story and blew the whole thing out of proportion. I was there before you left and Gottfried was there until you went back for Jo. We know you hated the whole regime and you had to stay alive out there somehow. These people who spread the rumour don’t know what you’ve been through. They only know a small proportion.”

“I’ll give you my resignation tomorrow. It isn’t good for the Sanatorium, me being here. I knew it was a bad idea to come back in the first place.”

“Where are you going to find another job? Don’t tell me you didn’t look elsewhere before accepting this post, because I shan’t believe you. The only reason you came back is because no one else would take you on. You’d not been anywhere near a hospital since before the war and had no record of war work either.”

“So I’m a charity case in effect. You employed me because you felt sorry for me.”

“No, I employed you because I know you’re a damn good doctor and that whatever happened to you during the war has no bearing on your work ethic.”

“It didn’t stop me going off at the deep end just now. I can’t even cope with someone asking me about the war and what I did. I have no easy answer I can give like the rest of you. Even Gottfried can answer that question better than I can. I’ve seen people looking at me and heard them when they think I’m not in earshot. If I go, you’ll have a staff willing to work together without things like this happening.”

“You can’t keep running away, Jack. If you do that every time someone asks you about what you did in the war, then you’ll never be able to hold down any job, let alone one I know you’re good at and love so much.”

“I won’t change my mind.”

“You’re still angry. Go home and calm down properly.” Jack turned and stalked off, Jem watching him until he was out of sight. He sighed and set off back to his office. He knew that Jack was still struggling to pull himself back from what he’d gone through. The argument with Dr Simpson had thrown the little balance he’d managed to find and he needed to find a way to deal with a question which he would come across again. 

The next afternoon, Jem was at his desk when Jack arrived for his shift. He placed an envelope in front of Jem and turned back towards the door. Jem stopped him.

“What’s this?”

“My resignation. I told you I’d give it to you today.”

“I’m not going to accept this. Sit down, Jack.” Jack reluctantly took the seat opposite the desk. Jem looked steadily at him for a few moments, the envelope on the desk untouched. “You look tired. Did you sleep last night?”

“Not much. Though that has nothing to do with this.”

“It has everything to do with it. Look, you were upset, yesterday. You had every right to be as well. Simpson had no right to delve into your past to satisfy his own curiosity and then begin a malicious rumour. As a matter of fact, he handed in his resignation this morning.”

“Why?”

“That’s between Simpson and myself.” Jem pushed the envelope back towards Jack. “Go and start your shift. You’re working with Gottfried today.” 

Jack automatically picked up the envelope and somehow found his way to his office. Once in there, he collapsed onto his chair and found he couldn’t move. His thoughts were too random for him to be able to concentrate properly. He knew he needed to do something, but, he couldn’t quite work out what it was. He rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on the paperwork on his desk. There was movement in the corner of his eye.

“Jo? What are you doing? You can’t wander away from everyone. You need to keep up.”

“Jo’s not here, Jack.” He recognised the voice, but couldn’t place it.

“Where is she? She was here a few minutes ago. I know she was.” He stood up and an arm steadied him as he staggered slightly. 

“You imagined her. Sit back down and look at me.” Jack mutely did as he was told, his eyes attempting to see the person in front of him. He couldn’t decide if he was dreaming or was actually awake. Jem watched him with a worried frown as he leaned against the desk. When he was sure Jack had managed to sort himself out a little more, he spoke again.

“How long is it since you last slept properly?” 

“I don’t know. I can’t remember.”

“You shouldn’t be at work in this state.”

“You’ll accept my resignation then?”

“No. I meant that you need to be at home sleeping, not trying to do a job which needs you to be able to respond at a moment’s notice. How have you managed on so little sleep for so long?”

“I can’t take the sleeping tablets. They don’t help and I’ll just end up addicted to them. I’ll be fine. I just need to get my focus back.”

“You won’t be fine if something happens and you aren’t able to do your job. You need to take a break and get yourself back on track again.”

“That’s not going to help.”

“Jack, look at yourself. You’re hallucinating from lack of sleep and you can barely stand up. You’ve been working like an automaton for I’ve no idea how long, though I suspect it’s since you started back on the rota. You can’t carry on this way indefinitely or you’ll end up back where you were when you came home.” Jack leaned his head in his hands, his elbows on the desk before him. He squeezed his eyes closed and tried to marshal his thoughts.

“What’s happening to me? I shouldn’t be reacting like this to everything. I can’t sleep for the nightmares and Jo haunts my thoughts when I’m awake. I overreact when someone asks me a simple question about my past. I’m a nervous wreck and I don’t think I can deal with it all anymore.”

A knock came at the door before Jem had chance to answer this. A nurse appeared demanding Dr Maynard’s assistance with a dying patient. Jack made to stand, his instinct telling him he had to attend, but Jem got in before him. 

“I’ll come, Nurse.” The nurse nodded and withdrew.

“I need to do it. It’s my shift.”

“No, Jack. I don’t want you risking your career by making some stupid mistake. Go home, take the sleeping tablets and get some sleep.” He left Jack alone and went to attend to his patient.

*****

Jack perched on the edge of the bed and leant his elbows on his knees. He felt disorientated, unsure whether he was dreaming or if he was really awake. He’d returned home after the incident with Dr Simpson and he barely remembered anything since then. He knew that Jem had told him to take the tablets and get some sleep; however, the problem was he couldn’t remember whether he had actually done so. His mind was whirling with images of Jo and Austria, intermingling with snippets of when he had finally arrived home. He shook his head to try and rid himself of the thoughts and rose to his feet. He staggered downstairs to the kitchen and made himself a strong coffee. There was no milk in the house, so he drank it without, pulling a face at the taste. 

The coffee finished, Jack walked to the bathroom and ran some cold water into the sink. He sluiced his face and looked at himself in the mirror. The man staring back at him was unshaven, haggard and barely recognisable as Dr John Maynard. Jack looked further into the mirror, seeing the reflection of the room behind him. A figure was standing in the corner and Jack realised it was Jo. Her eyes were empty as she stared silently at him.

“What’s happening to me, Jo? Why are you here, haunting my dreams and my waking hours? What did I do wrong?” The figure didn’t reply and Jack swung round to see the corner was empty. He turned back to the mirror and saw no Jo reflected in there, either. He dunked his head into the bowl of water, only lifting it back up when he could no longer hold his breath. The water dripped off his face as he gasped for air and supported himself with his hands against the wall upon which the mirror hung. 

Eventually, he picked up the towel from the side of the bath. He dried his face and rubbed his hair until it stood on end. He walked back to the bedroom and lay down once more. He had no concept of the time, or even which day it was. He felt clammy and feverish, as if he was suffering from influenza, though he knew that wasn’t the case. The little sleep he was getting was disturbed by dreams of Jo. Sometimes she was beside him in Landeck or he saw her in the gardens at Pretty Maids. Other times, he was dealing with patients at the Sanatorium and when he looked down, it was Jo he saw. Every time, she was silent, her eyes empty as she watched him. 

Jack remembered that Jem had told him to take the tablets. Sitting up he searched on the bedside cabinet until he found the bottle. Shaking two out, he stared at them as they lay in his hand. How long was it since he’d last taken any? He thought it was yesterday, but he couldn’t be sure. Maybe he ought to just take one? He dropped one back into the bottle before he realised that just taking one wouldn’t help, it wouldn’t make him sleep for long enough. He shook another out again. How long was it since he’d last taken them? 

“Just take the tablets, Jack.” The voice sounded like Jo’s. He looked around the room, but he couldn’t see her anywhere.

“I don’t know if I should, Jo. I can’t remember when I last took them.” He stared back down at the tablets and shook his head. He knew he must be hallucinating, but the voice had sounded so real, so close. He swallowed the tablets in his hand and threw the bottle against the wall. The glass shattered and its contents rolled all over, mingling with the shards. Jack lay down and waited for oblivion.

Two weeks after he’d sent Jack home, Jem knocked on the door to Jack’s cottage. He waited patiently, before knocking again. Just as he raised his hand to try a third time, the door was opened. Jack looked haggard and hadn’t shaved. He ushered Jem inside and into the kitchen, where he busied himself in making them both a drink. He set the mugs on the table and indicated to a seat.

“How are you, Jack?”

“A mess. She’s everywhere I turn. It’s as if I’m going insane.”

“You aren’t going insane. You’re still grieving”

“It’s been ten years since she died. I shouldn’t be in this state now.”

“It may be ten years, but, you had to suppress your grief for seven of them. Then you collapsed from a combination of exhaustion and the strain you’d put yourself through when you finally got back home to Pretty Maids. You’ve really only been able to grieve this past year or so as you began to get well again. Jo is always going to be in your thoughts, though I hope the pain will lessen for you eventually, just as it has for us.” Jack rose from his seat and took a few turns about the kitchen as he absorbed what Jem had told him.

“I’m sorry about the row with Simpson. I shouldn’t have taken it so personally. You should still take my resignation over his. I can’t be relied on if this is going to happen every time someone questions my past.”

“No. I know what you’re capable of, Jack. I know that I can depend on you to do everything needed without me having to check. Simpson had clashed with others before you; he knew it was in his best interests to go before I had to request him to leave. Now, we just need to get you back to work again and I have a plan to help out with that.”

“What sort of a plan?” Jack resumed his seat opposite Jem at the table and listened as Jem told him about plans to open a branch of the Sanatorium abroad. Jem was adamant that Jack should be involved in the planning process. Jack was initially unsure, but found himself agreeing to help, though he refused to visit the proposed area. Jem didn’t push him, knowing that Jack needed stability in England for a while longer yet. He hoped that when the time came, he would be able to persuade Jack to head up the staff there, but he kept that idea to himself for the time being. 

Thus, when Jack returned to work a week later, he found himself well and truly distracted from the incident with Dr Simpson. He was busy doing his job and also attending planning meetings. Jem made sure that he didn’t overwork himself again. He knew that Jack needed to keep busy, but he also ensured that he took time off to rest properly. He had understood Jack’s concerns about becoming addicted to the sleeping tablets he’d been prescribed and encouraged him to go walking in an effort to tire himself out more naturally. 

One evening, Jack was invited to dinner at the Round House, Jem’s home since he’d settled in England. Jack accepted with some reluctance. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to spend an evening making small talk with people who knew nothing about him. Jem assured him that only Gottfried and Gisela had been invited as well. It would be a quiet meal and there was no obligation to stay longer. 

Jack had managed to avoid many social situations until now. He knew he wasn’t good at holding any sort of conversation anymore, his need to remain silent for so long still being foremost in his thoughts. He was considerably surprised to be hugged by Madge when she met him in the hallway that evening. He hadn’t bumped into her before now since his life had primarily revolved around his own home and the Sanatorium. The unexpectedness caught him off guard and he had to blink hard to stop tears from forming. He still felt guilty that he had been unable to save her sister and that he had had to leave her in an unmarked grave in Austria. Madge had no thoughts of reminding him of what he had gone through, other than to state that she was glad to finally see him here.

Jack found that the meal went surprisingly well. He managed to keep up with the conversation and even contribute on occasion. Understanding his reticence, Jem had kept the talk to general current affairs, the others following his lead. It was when he was about to leave that his guard finally slipped. As she was showing him out, Madge handed him a small parcel.

“Jem mentioned that you didn’t have a photograph of Jo. I know that you could do nothing to help her when you found her. I’d like to give you this to say thank you for everything you did for her afterwards at great risk to yourself. I know it wasn’t easy and you were in great danger out there. If ever you want to talk about her, I’m always here. I’d like to be able to share memories of her with you.”

“Thank you.” Jack stopped and drew in a deep breath before he felt able to continue. “I’m sorry I couldn’t have brought her out safely.”

“There was nothing you could do, Jack. Don’t ever feel guilty about her death. It was through no fault of yours that she died. Jo knew the risks and I know that she’d have preferred it to have been her than any of the younger girls.” Jack just nodded, mutely. He knew if he tried to speak, he would break down. Madge saw this and quietly handed him his hat and coat. “Take care of yourself, Jack and make sure you come back to visit us soon.” 

“Thank you for this more than I can say.” He turned to the door and opened it. Madge watched him walk slowly down the drive, before quietly closing the door. Jem appeared behind her and slipped his arm around her waist as he escorted her back to the drawing room. 

“I hope I’ve done the right thing, Jem.”

“I’m sure you have, darling. He just needs to be allowed to sort himself out in his own time. Don’t push for anything from him and he’ll come to terms with it all eventually.” Madge nodded her agreement and together they went through the door to their other guests.


	10. March 1957

Jack stood on the platform and shivered. The wind was bitingly cold and he was unprepared for the blizzard which had met him as he stepped off the train. He looked around, recognising the familiar features of the place he had worked. He picked up his case and walked slowly towards the barrier where he gave up his ticket and passed into the courtyard outside. Ignoring the taxis, he turned to the left and walked down the street, pulling his hat further down onto his head to prevent it from blowing away. He soon reached the guest house where he had a room booked for the next three nights and was thankful to get inside to the warmth. Once he had checked in, he made his way up to his room, where he deposited the case on the bed and unpacked before making his way back downstairs to the dining room in time for dinner. Jem had offered to travel with him, but Jack had refused, stating it was something he needed to do alone. 

“I appreciate the offer, but, I need to be able to bring closure to that chapter and I can’t do that with you there. I know you and Madge have been and that you want to help. I just don’t think I’ll be good company, knowing what it’s going to bring back for me.”

“I understand. Take as long as you need. It’s not going to be easy.”

“I’ll take two weeks leave if I may, then I’ll call in at the new Sanatorium on my way back through Switzerland. May as well make the most of being over there to do an inspection of the place.”

“I’ll join you for that inspection if you don’t mind. It’s time I toured it again and put the wind up the doctors over there.” Jack laughed in response to this.

“Join me in Zurich. I’ll be ready for the company by then. We can travel on to the Gornetz Platz together.”

“That sounds good to me. When do you want to go?”

“No time like the present. We have no major cases and plenty of staff for once. If you can rota me off for two weeks or so, I can make some calls and get off.” 

Jem had done so, arranging to meet Jack two weeks later at a Zurich hotel before they travelled on to the Swiss Sanatorium. Now, Jack was wondering why he’d agreed to it all so easily.

The next morning, Jack woke early. He’d had a poor night’s sleep and didn’t feel ready to face what he had travelled here to do. However, he’d made it this far, so he knew he just must continue on and finish this journey, however hard it was. Once he’d eaten breakfast, he enquired about buses to Faggen, discovering that one would be departing just across the road in twenty minutes. Quickly, he gathered up his things from his room and went outside. Remembering how small the village was, he bought some flowers from the shop across from the guest house and just had time to reach the stop before the bus arrived. 

The journey was short and Jack was surprised when he was decanted in the village not far from the church. He was told the return journey was an hour later and then the bus disappeared around the bend, leaving him alone on the roadside. He turned towards the church and began to move with purpose.

Jack turned into the churchyard and walked slowly round to the left of the church. He could see the yew tree under which he had watched the grave being filled. When he reached the spot, he was surprised to see a gravestone. That was something new; he had left the grave unmarked. He read the inscription with tears in his eyes:

_In memory of  
Josephine Mary   
Bettany  
1918-1938  
Beloved fiancée   
and sister  
Never forgotten_

Jack rested the flowers on the snow and traced his fingers gently along the words. He knew that Jem and Madge had visited, but he had no idea that they had paid to have a memorial stone erected since he had never asked about their trip, unwilling to trigger memories best left forgotten. He leaned back on his heels, staying crouched in front of the stone.

“Jem’s right, Jo. You’ll never be forgotten. It’s taken me nineteen years to return but, you’ve never been far from my mind. I sometimes see things, even now, and think that I must remember to tell Jo that. It took me three years to recover when I finally made it home. Then, no one was prepared to employ me because I had nothing to show what I was doing during the war. They didn’t trust me, because I hadn’t been fighting for the Allies. If it hadn’t been for Jem, I’d probably have spiralled out of control. He knew I didn’t want my old job back, but he was the only person prepared to trust me.

“It was hard going back to work with Jem. Even though the Sanatorium was in a different country, there were people I’d known from the Sonnalpe working there. They knew what had happened to me and, though they were sympathetic, I knew they didn’t believe everything. They distrusted me. I heard them often talking about me when they thought I wasn’t there. If it hadn’t been for Jem, I’d have walked out and never returned. He persuaded me to stay and it took some doing, I know. I wasn’t easily persuaded.

“So much has happened since I left you here, Jo. I can’t even begin to describe everything, or I’d be here all day. It’s just started snowing again and it looks like what you always insisted on calling Christmas card land. Everything is so peaceful. I promise I’ll come again and quicker than this time. I love you, Jo. I always will, and I promise I’ll live life for both of us.”

Jack rose and stepped back, bowing his head in silent prayer. The snow was beginning to thicken and he walked back through the churchyard to where the bus had dropped him. He had a short wait before the bus returned and he gratefully climbed aboard into the warmth.

The next day, Jack went for a walk. He knew he needed to get out of town and think. Maybe staying in Landeck hadn’t been a good plan after all. Before he realised it, he found himself looking at a barn which seemed familiar. It was the same one he’d hidden in when he’d had to leave so urgently. He stood staring at it for a short while before he turned his steps back towards town. He was glad he was leaving tomorrow. He knew he wouldn’t return to Landeck again. He’d travel to Faggen from elsewhere in future.

Jack set off early next morning. He caught a train to Italy where he had no memories of Jo or what he had been through. After four days, he felt as if he was ready to finish confronting his past and started off for Switzerland and Zurich. He’d have a couple of days alone before Jem was due to join him and he was finally looking forward to the company of his friend, something he’d still struggled to accept just a couple of years ago.

Zurich was just as emotional as Landeck, but in a different way. Jack knew he hadn’t needed to hide quite the same as he’d done in Austria. He’d been a refugee, like so many people, stuck in a country he was unable to safely leave for his homeland. He walked past the place where he’d lived for a few years until it had been flattened by the bomb. He wondered what had become of those who had lived there. He’d never crossed paths with many of them again after that night. He hoped that the children he’d pulled out from under the staircase were all still alive and doing well with their lives. His thoughts moved onto Hansi and Maria Lang. He wondered if Maria was still alive or if the tuberculosis had killed her in the end. He supposed he would never know. 

*****

Jem arrived in Zurich on the Thursday, unsure whether Jack would still be there. He knew that his friend had been revisiting his recent past and he hoped that Jack had been able to cope with the wounds so recently healed. He was also intrigued as to what he would say about the headstone on Jo’s grave.

Jack was waiting in the hotel lobby when Jem arrived. He rose to greet him with a smile. Jem returned it, noting as he shook hands that Jack seemed much more at ease than when he’d left.

“Glad to see you, Jem. Hurry up and get checked in and changed. I’ve booked us a table for dinner in half an hour. I thought you were due to arrive earlier.”

“I’ll be as fast as I can.” Jem walked over to the desk and was quickly sorted out with his room key. He sped upstairs, where he dumped his case, had a wash and changed into his dinner suit before running lightly back downstairs to join his friend.

When they had eaten, they returned to the lobby and were soon each sitting with whisky glass in one hand. Jack looked over at Jem.

“When did you have the stone erected?” Jem had no need to ask what he meant.

“When we visited last year. We found the site and Madge insisted that there should be something to mark her grave. Do you mind?”

“No. I was surprised to see it, though. I suppose if I’d taken the time to ask how your own trip had gone, I’d have known it was there.”

“You weren’t ready to hear about our trip then. You’d only just reached the stage where you were beginning to accept what had happened.”

“True. I’m glad you did. It made it easier for me. I talked to her while I was there. I never thought I’d do that. I pay my respects to my parents each year, but I don’t talk to them when I leave flowers on their grave.”

“Your parents died naturally of old age. Jo didn’t. Maybe that’s the difference. If it helps, I did it a few times at Margot’s grave before we had to leave Guernsey.” Jack just nodded, but stayed silent, thinking. “What is it, Jack?”

“I couldn’t deal with being in Landeck again. Landeck holds too many bad memories for me.”

“At least you did go back. You’ve put that part of your life back into order.” Jem paused, signalling to the waiter to bring over more whisky. “You won’t be going back there, will you?”

“Not to Landeck. I’d like to go and see Jo again, but I’ll be searching for another route to get there if it’s possible.”

“What about being here in Zurich?”

“I like it. I was lucky here in lots of ways. I know I was here as a refugee with no safe passage to get back to England. I was in the same boat as many others I knew here. It holds no particularly bad memories. I walked past the hotel I was living in yesterday. It’s been cleared away and looks like they’re building a new hotel in its place.”

“I’m glad. I did wonder if I’d find you gone by the time I arrived.”

“I wondered it myself before I arrived here. I wasn’t sure if I’d made the right decision meeting you here, especially after Landeck. I did, though. Zurich is a lovely city and I’ve finally laid my ghosts to rest here.”

“I’m glad. It’s taken a long time.”

“You know, when I first heard your voice in the hall at Pretty Maids just after I’d returned, my first thought was to leave. I didn’t think I’d cope with seeing you.”

“Your parents were worried. I wasn’t surprised when you finally appeared.”

“I was at my lowest ebb then. I had nothing left to live for. In actual fact, if you hadn’t turned up and effectually put paid to my plans, I would have disappeared again. The fact that you just listened while we were up in the copse was what I needed. The local guy was a lovely chap, but he had no idea what had happened before I’d even left the Sonnalpe, never mind the fact that he simply didn’t have the time to spend listening to my woes.”

“I’m glad I came, then. Your father was worried about whether it was the right thing to do when he rang me. I persuaded him that it was. You needed to confront your past and I was possibly the only person who could make you do that. I’d already come to the conclusion that Jo was gone by then, you too, otherwise you wouldn’t have disappeared so thoroughly.”

“It was the best thing for me, now I look back. I can’t thank you enough for everything over the past few years.”

“I’m glad I helped. You’re a good friend, Jack as well as a trusted colleague. I wouldn’t have got where I am today if it hadn’t been for you in the background. You don’t get all the recognition you deserve and you refused to take charge when we opened the Swiss branch, though you’d done the majority of the legwork.”

“I’d never have coped with it then. It’s only in the last couple of years that I’ve finally managed to bring myself back fully onto the level. This last two weeks have hopefully brought closure to that chapter. I’m finally happy again, which I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to say before I came out here. I’ll always miss Jo, but, I know she’s watching me and I’m finally going to be able to fulfil her final request to live life for both of us.”

“I’m glad.” Jem rose and Jack rose with him. “A toast. Here’s to the future.”

“A long and prosperous future. Cheers, Jem!” They clinked glasses and Jack smiled, at long last reconciled to his life.


End file.
